This waiting period has given me a lot of time to think about what I'm hopefully about to do. Lately, I've been thinking about what couples look for in a donor. Is it hair color? Height? Religion? Athleticism? Or do they focus in on the essay portion of the application? What makes ME a good donor? I'm not totally sure, and I would love to get some feedback from women who have looked through the database of donors. If I needed to resort to using donor eggs, I think I would want to use eggs from a woman who looked like me. The essay portion would also weigh in on my choice - Personality definitely matters. Brains definitely matter to me too, so I would definitely take academic background into consideration.
I'm also curious to hear what recipient couples would be curious to know about their donors that isn't covered in the application. Would they want more details about what I look like? My IQ? My personal style? Would they want to see a current picture of me, instead of just my baby pictures? I would personally be interested to know these things... I know this issue is pretty controversial, but I'm also curious to know whether recipient couples would be interested in meeting their donor in person. Part of me thinks it shouldn't really matter what kind of person is donating their eggs, so why bother meeting them? Sure, their kid is getting my DNA, but they're the ones responsible for really molding their child into the person he or she will become - not me. I'm not sure if I would want to meet my donor if I were in the recipients' shoes for privacy reasons, but I would definitely be curious as to who she really is. I appreciate the anonymity of the process, and I don't think I would ever want to meet whoever gets my eggs. I'm donating my eggs, and nothing more, and that in itself is a gift.
Our criterion for our donor went something like this:
ReplyDelete1) proven donor (either used by SG successfully in the past or someone who had their own children). After 1 m/c and an unsuccessful IVF this was the number one criterion for us, we wanted it to be a successful experience. Our nurse helped us narrow our choices down.
2) coloring that resembled one of us
3) education-a year degree was a bonus but someone who could spell and put sentences together (one donor could not spell her religion).
4) essay-someone who seemed honest, kind and responsible.
Now that we have our children, I would like to ask our donor about her personality (although it came through in our writing and input from our nurse). My sons are so happy and sunny. I wonder if the donor is the same. I wonder where our youngest twin gets his dimples from. He looks very much like the donor's baby photo. I wonder if he will always look like her. I wonder, does the donor think about the recipients/ what does she want to know about us?
I am a SG grad as well! This was my 3rd DE trasnfer when I finally found SG and success. Our top wish list for our donor was:
ReplyDelete1. Prooven - either mother or past donation (2 past bust cycles with different clinic)
2. Similar characteristics to myself. Blond, blue eyed, petite (5'2)
3. Clean family health
I would have liked adult pictures, but I understand the desire to stay anonymous. However our donor used a picture of herself when she was 12, and I really appreciated that, as you can really see her bone structure at that age.
Good Luck with everything. I hope your testing comes back soon. All my best to you!
1. Height, hair, and eye color (my DH's family is on the shorter side so it was important that the donor was at least as tall as me).
ReplyDelete2. Good health
3. Our donor had brown eyes so it was important to me to have the option for blue eyes. So we looked for a donor with the blue eye gene.
4. Being a proven donor wasn't as important to me since we were in the shared risk program. I figured lets take a risk on someone we really like.