When I first started this blog, I was worried about the reactions I would get to sharing something so personal. To my surprise, I have an overwhelmingly positive response! Still, I am glad that there have been a few people who voiced their concerns and doubts about why I'm really choosing to pursue egg donation. It's so easy to get caught up in the moment and overlook certain risks when a crowd of people are cheering you on, and it's important to hear the few voices who may not be so convinced to make you more aware of the magnitude of your decision. If it hadn't been for those few voices, I may not have called the clinic to learn more about what I'm really in for. Luckily, I am more confident than ever about my decision. So what if I get OHSS? I'll deal with the pain, and get better! So what if this causes some catastrophe within my body, and I have trouble getting pregnant in the future? Sure I will be devastated at missing the opportunity to have a pregnancy of my own, but I'll be able to adopt an orphaned child who otherwise wouldn't have been. Whatever obstacle is thrown in my way, I can say with confidence that I will be ok.
I have read a few other blogs of women who have donated their eggs with complete anonymity. For whatever reason, they have chosen not to tell anyone - not even their families - about donating their eggs. A few even traveled out of the US to Canada to undergo the procedure because some states don't allow compensation for egg donation, particularly when the purpose is solely for research. (Some feel that this may encourage the exploitation of women in financial need, which I think it likely does.)Whether they were embarrassed, just out to make extra money, or didn't think their decision would be widely accepted, I don't know and it's not my right to judge. However, I know that I would personally not be able to get through this without the support of my friends and family.
My mom was actually the last person that I told about my decision. I wasn't sure how she would react, and that definitely made me so reluctant to tell her. When I did break the news to her, she reacted with the same questions everyone initially asks: Will it hurt? Will it affect your own fertility in the future?... Once I assured her that I am confident in my choice regardless of what may happen in the future, she told me that the was proud of me for doing something so brave. In the same breath she asked, "Have you told them about your teenage years? You will make someone very happy... but another little Michelle? haha!" Thanks Mom for making me a little "deviled."
I would tell anyone who is thinking about donating their eggs to reach out to their friends and family, and to not be afraid of the reactions they may receive. The magnitude of this journey is more than I could have ever imagined, and I am glad that I have people who have lovingly supported, and lovingly doubted me too.
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